“The Birth of Jesus According to Mary and Joseph.”

Merry Christmas, everyone. Today I’d like to tell you a story that is not found in my book, but it’s appropriate for this season of the year because it is titled, “The Birth of Jesus According to Mary and Joseph.”
You know, just about every year we hear a very traditional version of the story of Jesus coming into this world. But the Bible doesn’t give us a whole lot of details about how this event affected Mary and especially Joseph, so I’d like to tell a story that is possibly a version from their perspective.
I believe that if I was a teenage girl, and an angel had told me I was going to give birth to the Son of God, I would have questioned God, and said, “How can my loving heavenly Father do this to me? My parents are going to ground me and restrict me to my room for the next nine months for being bad, because of all the extracurricular activity they would think Joseph and I had.
But not this Mary. She trusted God right then and there, and she pondered on these things about the baby she would bear.
Then the angel appeared Joseph and assured him he should take Mary as his wife, because the baby that she carried was God with us, the very giver of all life.
So they trusted God together, but had to make a trip to Bethlehem, for a census would be taken , and there, the Census Bureau would count the two of them.
Mary probably rode a donkey, because Joseph couldn’t afford a Mercedes-Benz. But when they got to Bethlehem, it was all full at the Hilton Inn.
And this hardly ever happens, but even the Motel 6 had turned out its light. Must have seemed to Joseph and Mary that there was no hope in sight.
Finally, this desperate couple had to settle in a barn, between the cattle and the sheep and the tractors for the farm.
But Joseph made a cozy bed for Mary in the hay. And it was not a moment too soon, for the baby was on his way.
When the birth of Jesus began to take place, and the labor pains increased, since there was no spinal block or pain killer there, Mary just squeezed the arm of Joseph for relief.
But as the pain got stronger and stronger, she looked in his eyes and said, “You devil, get thee behind me!” Joseph jumped back and said “Whoa! I had nothing to do with this, Sweet Pea. The angel just told me how things were going to be.”
But of course, he held her hand anyway and suffered through Mary’s verbal abuse, that is until the vise grip she had on his arm, hurt so bad that he begged her to turn him loose.
But by now, Joseph had turned blue from lack of circulation, and he passed out at this critical moment from all of this consternation.
The anxiety and dismay had overwhelmed him, just as our Savioe arrived. When he came to, Mary handed him the scissors and said, “Cut the cord, my dear wimpy Joey, our baby has survived.”
So, Joseph looked upon our Savior’s face, the one who would save us from our sin. But the baby didn’t look ready to be cuddled with, and Joseph passed out again.
So, Mary pried the scissors from his hand and asked, “Oh Lord, is this how life with Joe is going to be? If I want something to be done right, the one to do it, will have to be me.”
Now I don’t mean to just call Joseph out, ’cause all of us married ladies know, this is just what marriage is about.
Is it any wonder we don’t hear much more about Joseph in the Bible? I bet when Jesus was a child and wanted his dad to play pitch, Jesus probably spent most of his time retrieving the ball from the neighbor’s ditch.
Anyway, back to the story of his birth. On that glorious night, the angels proclaimed our Savior’s arrival here on earth.
While shepherds were on their way, (Sing the next words to the tune of “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.”) they all got run over by a reindeer. well….. because reindeer see better in the day.
But Santa said, “No worries, mates. I’ll take you to the babe in my sleigh.” So off they went, singing “Jingle All the Way.”
Oh, wait a minute, I’m getting my stories confused. I’m not telling this one quite right. In fact, now that I think about it, I don’t think Santa was even there that night.
Now, we all know how the official version of this history goes. But in this version, you may be wondering if the shepherds ever make it to the baby, as the Bible shows.
The shepherds did finally arrive at the barn and saw our Savior in the stall, and for the rest of their live, they were amazed by the wonder of it all.
Yes, we have reason for great joy when we think of the mercy God gave away in a manger that day. And now, we can accept God’s gift of salvation that He provided in this way.
This story really makes you stop and think what it might have actually been like on that cool, starry night, when our Savior was born and became our Everlasting Light.
As for Mary and Joseph, I am sure they were never bored, because can you imagine what it was like to raise not only your son, but also your Lord? Wow! (Make the gesture of your head exploding,)

I hope you enjoyed reading this story and please share it with friends and family for a little lighthearted humor at this most precious time of the year when we celebrate the coming of the greatest gift we will ever receive from our Heavenly Father.
I hope to blog again before the week is out so I can share the lyrics to a song I wrote that has a more Biblically accurate account of the birth of our Savior. The song is called, “In a Manger That Day.”
Be talkin’ to you soon, and don’t stress out over all the hustle and bustle of this week. None of it is worth a thing if we forget the reason for the season! Thank you, Jesus for coming on our behalf!!!!